Daily Reminder to My Authentic Self

I do a lot of research for self-help. I mean like a lot of research. I bolded and italicized that to really kick in the emphasis of how much freaking research I do. So much so, that at times I forget things I’ve learned about. I’m always bringing in so much new information to my brain that I think it probably gets a little overwhelmed and wants me to do some meditation for a day instead. 

Don’t get me wrong I LOVE learning new things. It’s one of my passions and I find that life is super exciting because of it. But because of HOW excited I get about new topics I start jumping from one thing to another. I get so far into this that I forget to reflect on what I’ve learned and apply those new skills.

I noticed last week that I find myself still reacting to things in ways that aren’t healthy EVEN THOUGH I’ve spent weeks learning how to cope with hard emotions. Whenever I find myself reacting in an unhealthy way I find that my mind completely draws a blank on anything I’ve ever learned. 

I’m realizing now it’s because I don’t take time to sit down and apply the skills I’ve learned. It’s also because I have ADHD jumping from one topic, to another topic, if very common.

The thing is… I don’t want to be constantly looking up new ways to be my most authentic self if I am not getting what I want to get out of it. 

I started this blog because I wanted to share everything I’ve learned in hopes to help one person…

I’m deciding today, that I am going to be the person I help. 

Me.

I took today to write a list of things that help me be my true self.

I am going to keep on me at all times, as a reminder of things I’ve learned through this journey that will continue to help me grow and find my true self. 

If this post ends up helping someone else that’s a bonus — I’m just so proud of myself for choosing me.

1.Pick empathy over judgment

There will be times today that your initial reaction is going to be judgment. Someone may cut you off in traffic and you start calling them names and judging their character. Acknowledge that judgment is going to come into your day. The thing is to recognize it and turn it into empathy.

When you catch yourself judging someone — take a step back. Ask yourself why you’re judging something or someone? What emotion is it bringing out? 

Then ask yourself if the rage you are feeling while judging someone cutting you off in traffic is how you want to feel right now? Sometimes you may need that one minute to feel anger or rage, but remember that your judgment is creating the rage — the situation is not. 

Challenge yourself to an empathetic approach once you have recognized and accepted that you are feeling an emotion that is causing you pain. 

Maybe the person just got their license, or maybe it’s that persons first time driving after a horrific accident they had 5 years ago. Find empathy, because empathy will lead you to joy, happiness, and peace. Judgment will lead you to rage, sadness, and apathy. 

2.Find opportunity to grow in every situation

You need to remember that no matter how much you try to avoid tough situations — they are going to happen. Life isn’t always going to be easy, but remember there can be beauty in that.

Instead of running away from things that challenge you or scare you — look for the opportunity to learn something new or grow.

If you teach a topic at work and you notice that the participants aren’t understanding — don’t run. Don’t shame yourself for not being perfect the very first time you try something new. Failure leads to new ways to grow. Find this opportunity to use your skills that you are educated on and find a different approach to teaching that topic. 

Remember that every challenge that comes your way is helping you become more resilient. Becoming more resilient helps you find the opportunity to grow in any situation.

3.Learn something new

Have you learned anything new today? If you haven’t yet then go Google something random or something you’ve always wanted to know. Learning is so fascinating. It helps you become a more understanding and caring person.

Learning something new has also helped you find out your passions and hobbies. You never knew you were into podcasts until you gave one a try, and maybe you’ll never know you’re supposed to play guitar because you never tried to learn. 

Learn something new today and tell a friend. Maybe it’ll inspire them to learn too!

4.Express gratitude

Remind your loved ones that you are grateful for them. Remind your significant other that you are so thankful that he has taught you to become more independent because it has helped your find your voice that was hidden for so long.

Remind your best friend that you would be lost without their unconditional love. Remind her that going through hard times would be so much harder if you didn’t have her support no matter what. 

Remind a co-worker for how grateful you are that they have taught you so much about your job. That you’re thankful for working with people that want to help individuals have a voice when they haven’t for so long. 

Remind yourself for how grateful you are for all of the beautiful things this world has to bring to you. Remind yourself for how thankful you are given today as another opportunity to be amazing and your true self. Remind yourself for how grateful you are for being on this journey and how far you’ve come.

Express gratitude in as many ways as you can think. Whether it’s by text, phone call, random acts of kindness, or positive affirmations — express it. Not only does it bring you joy, it also brings others joy too.

5.Be open to different perspectives

Remember the story: The Blind Men and the Elephant. 

If you need to re-read the story to remind you about perspective, then do so.

https://www.peacecorps.gov/educators/resources/story-blind-men-and-elephant/

6.Be self-compassionate

Be kind to yourself. Instead of saying you can’t do something, tell yourself you can’t do it yet. 

Change your negative self-talk to talk of self love and compassion. When you catch yourself judging someone — recognize it but be kind to yourself when you do. You have lived your life this way for 28 years and changing that narrative can be hard. Be kind. 

When you look into the mirror, count all the things you love about yourself instead of naming everything you hate that you see. When you make a mistake, recognize mistakes happen every single day and that you’re not stupid or dumb for making one.

When you forget something, like an appointment or to message a friend back — recognize it, but don’t tell yourself that you’ll never be able to remember anything. Remind yourself that organization and remembering things may not be a strength you have right now, but there is so much time to grow.

Make sure you give yourself the most amount of self-compassion. 

7.Exercise at least one way: physically, mentally, or emotionally

Exercising is something that has always been there to help you when you’re down. No matter what type of exercise it is — you always get some sort of benefit from it.

Here are some ways that you can exercise some form of your body:

• Mindfulness
• Yoga
• Going for a walk
• Emotional regulation exercises
• Listening to a podcast
• Meditating
• Deep breathing
• Heavy lifting 
• HIIT workout
• Dancing in the kitchen
• Research a self help topic
• Journaling

Do some of these during the day. Exercising brings you so much energy that will help you stay positive throughout the day.

8.Stay true to your values and beliefs

Although empathy, compassion, and being more understanding of others is SO important to you… don’t forget about yourself.

Make sure you know your values first. You cannot stay true to your values if you don’t know what they aren’t / can’t always remember them. 

Some of your values to remember:

• Compassion
• Kindness
• Connection
• Love
• Growth
• Authenticity
• Learning
• Honesty

These values are things that you have took a good look at to know that in order to be your best self — you need these in your life.

9.Laugh more

A lot of this self-help work can be dark, which brings up a lot of darker emotions like: sadness, anger, grief, loneliness, and others. 

This means it’s so important to not take everything in life seriously.

If you rip a hole in your favourite pair of pants — laugh it off after you curse. Find joy and happiness in more. Search for more things that make you smile and laugh so hard that your abs hurt.

Watch Impractical Jokers

Play the Switch with your partner

Watch videos of animals doing weird things on YouTube

Find things that make you laugh and write them down so when you need a little laugh, you’ll have a reference.

10.Believe in yourself

At the end of the day it doesn’t matter if your best friend, your partner, your parents, or anyone else you’re searching for approval from believes in you.

What matters is that you believe in yourself. When you believe in yourself you do amazing things.

You write from your heart. You are positive. You are optimistic. You look for the goodness in things.

Keep believing in yourself no matter what may stumble across your path. Always have faith that you can do whatever you set your mind to. 

You are capable of incredible things. Remember that. Believe in it. 

Cheers,

K