I felt completely lost this past year while I have been working on myself. It has been dark. It has been up and down. I didn’t recognize who I saw in the mirror at times because I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t for so long. I was pretending to be an extrovert my whole life so I could feel connection. I was agreeing with opinions that I couldn’t disagree more with. Conflict was my worst nightmare because I was so worried about losing the feeling of belonging and being connected.
Pretending to be someone that I wasn’t worked for 28 years. It worked until I started to take a deeper look into who I was really living my life for. I started asking myself questions like: who am I living my life for? Why am I focusing on making every single person happy instead of making myself happy? Pretending to be whoever I had to be for a certain group of people unfortunately lead me to not knowing who I was anymore.
This past week I had a HUGE awakening moment. It was like I finally woke up and remembered who I was again.
Whenever starting a blog post on WordPress, it will prompt you with a question. I never answer the question because I already have something written that I am going on to publish to my website.
Today’s question was: what skills and lessons have you learned recently?
Well, in 2023 I am going to dedicate my blog to sharing the steps that I took to get from my biggest critic, to my own best friend.
I have learned so many skills and lessons this past year that I want to share with anyone who reads these blog posts. I felt so alone because I didn’t realize how much my childhood could impact my adulthood if not addressed. I didn’t realize that I could start being in control of my thoughts, reactions, and life in general. I have been so focused on making everyone else around me happy that I forgot what made me happy in the first place
I’m really excited to grow more in 2023 and share all my experiences with this page!!
The Pink Rose Diary 